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Friday, October 1, 2010

Accepting reality

I was going to write about something else when i read this article.

Now, when i first read the article i thought to myself, this is crazy. When I read the comments, i thought to myself, " sometimes i doesnt pay to read the comments to a news story".

these are the actually comment from one of the dead robbers "cuz"


If me and a couple of friends decide to rob a store and our 'victims' just happen to have guns and shoot us, is there really anything my family can say to overlook the fact that i was killed attempting to commit a felony? It would appear that the "1st cuz" of one of the shooters took offense with the posters and stated that the gunman didn't have to kill them, he could have 'wounded' them. Um, let me see, some strange men are trying to rob your store and are beating up your coworker. Do you really think that they are not capable of KILLING either one of you? Um... naw, according to the logic of the 1st cuz. Those store employees would have more than likely been killed. Period. Cuz can pretend until the cows come home, but the odds were against the employees.

According to the "cuz'  children are left without fathers. Considering their prior criminal history, they've been without real fathers for some time.

My response to the cousin is this: Its a shame your cousin died. What is really a shame is that you fail to comprehend the fact that your cousin was the cause of his own death. While it may be difficult for you to comprehend, your cousin and his 'friends' were were not nice people. There are the reason many companies do not have stores in low-income neighborhoods. Your cousin and his boys are the reason jobs have left many inner cities. Your cousin is the reason why black and hispanic men/boys account for a larger percentage in prison that the general population. his death should be a wake up call to you and your family. The call should be this. Get your act together. Stop blaming and projecting your failures, disappointment and lack of ambition on the people of the state of North Carolina and particularly the people of Charlotte. For those of you who dropped out of school, get an education. for those of you who are unemployed, try getting a job at McDonalds. Get some therapy, Get some counseling. Stop wallowing in the mindless ambition that living the 'street life' is somehow more glamorous than actually working a honest day. The decisions, good, bad and ugly brought you cousin and his friends to decide that robbing the pizza hut was easier than working there. Until and unless you, your cousin's family, his friends families and those around you understand and accept the fact that YOU are responsible for your own actions, your cousin will not be the first death.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Time will tell

I am a gossip junkie. i have my favorite sites where i read, laugh and generally shake my head at the total and utter self-destruction celebrities and 'faux' celebrites create for themselves. Then i always ask myself, its this really important in the scheme of things? are they finding a cure for cancer? are they saving the planet? okay, so.. why am i reading this? truth be told, i read this stuff for several reasons.

first, why is it that those who truly have everything, money, fame and looks, can be absolutely so self-destructive? i mean really, your job is to stand in front of a camera and pretend to be anything you are told to be. how hard is that? are you really paying to eat at that restuarant? i hardly doubt it? they are comping your meal so you are photographed coming out so others will want to come in. That dress you are wearing? free. why? because the designer who wears it gave it to you for free with the hope that someone who sees you in in will want one and they will pay for the priviledge. wow. what are hard life.

second. is it really that difficult for people to tell you no? I mean, wearing Uggs in the middle of the summer with shorts. that's so not a fashion statement. your stylist should be shot for letting you walk out the house like that. why in the world do you think that dress is NOT that short? we can see what your gyn sees when you are on the table. that's so not cute especially at your age. put some damn panties on.

third. hollywood can't be that small where everyone has to sleep with everyones husband/wife/boyfriend/girlfriend. really. expand your horizons. find a nice businessman in nyc or san francisco, texas, miami, boston, atlanta. move out of the LA/HOLLYWOOD area. come to town only when you are filming/promoting a project. otherwise, live a REGULAR life.

fourth. stop thinking recreational drugs are the not the cause of your problems. drugs kill. period. you are deluding yourself if you really think no one knows you like to do blow. or meth. or heroin. we know. Ms. Johnson in El Paso, Tx knows what a crackhead looks like. Middle American isn't stupid. we saw you on Letterman/Leno/Oprah/Entertainment Tonight. your fan base shrinks everytime something goes into your nose or your veins. And yes, we all think its a damn shame you are wasting your talents but we also realize until YOU realize you are wasting your talents, your legal guardian, your business manager, your professional manager, your parasitic boyfriend/husband/significant other, your hangers on and your starry eyed family members will continue to drain you bone dry.

Now, like everyone, i love a good redemption story. Unfortunately, there's not many right nowon my regular gossip sites. i'm guessing now i may have to move back to playing spider solitarie for my fix.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

father's day

today is father's day. i texted all the dads i know and wished them a happy father's day. Then it got me thinking. how many of them are 'traditional' dads? how many are baby's daddies, how many just straight up should haven't been sleeping with that idiot? how many 'adopted' kids because they felt the kids need a father in their lives (and the biological one was unknown, in jail, dead, married and not acknowledging the kid, etc) so i thought about what i would tell these children about the men who were and weren't in their lives

1. I know you love your mother, but with certain exceptions, dont believe everything she's saying about your father. he wasn't always a liar, thief, and cheat. and if he was, why was she sleeping with him unprotected?

2. Sometimes women want another woman's man. Its life, now while your dad was triflin to cheat on his wife/girlfriend/significant other with your mother, your mom wasn't all innocent. she knew what was up. It is much easier to say your father lied (and he might have to a point) but its much easier to say she was duped than to admit she thought she could 'take' your father away from who he was with.

3. Don't necessarily believe that your father never wanted to have anything to do with you from the time he found out about you. Many times the problem lies at your mother's feet. If she was a teen-ager, she wasn't mature enough to separate the fact that she was either a) a booty call b) your father didn't take the relationship as serious as she did c) he was just as young and stupid as your mother and was scared.
Many teenage girls who get pregant have no clue about how they have just changed their future. They look to their friends and family (who while saying they have the best intentions, are bring their own garbage and drama to the table) tell them all sorts of bs (most of which isn't true) and create conditions that didnt allow your parents to be what they were suppose to be, co-parents to you.

4. If your mother were one of those women who heard her biological clock ticking and just had to have a baby, if she didn't go to a sperm bank, she 'planned' with some guy to do 'sperm bank cheap' and have you. problem was, she didn't realize 1)babies are expensive and 2) children really do need their fathers. What she didn't tell you and will never admit to telling you is that she told him that she wouldnt ask for child support if he made a 'donation'. once he made the dontation and she realized she was over her head financially, she 'forgot' the terms of the agreement and now wants him to pay. If someone reniged on a contract you had, wouldn't you be mad too? especially when you were doing HER a favor?

5. Sometimes some women believe what they see on TV. They think marriage and/or relationships are easy. a man should somehow read her mind, woo her, wine her, dine her be the perfect mate. Your mother watched too much TV and believed too much of the BS her family and girlfriends told her. Your mother is no saint and if you ask your father, in the relationship, she wasn't either. she was petty, cruel, rude and basically not a nice person. When he wanted out, she used you to get back at him. When it didn't work, she took you and left, like a spoiled child leaving the playground with his ball.

6. Your mother used/uses the court system to punish your dad. She's make allegations that would make your skin crawl. what? because it was never about you. She's convienced herself that your dad did these things because she's punishing him for not being with her. Even if she's remaried/involved with someone else. she's using the court system to stalk him and If you stopped believing your mother walked on water and did a bit of investigating, you may found out that your anger and resentment towards your father should be focused elsewhere.

7. Yes your father cheated on your mother. And? that's their business, unless she told you, you didn't need to know. just because he cheated on her, never, ever meant he didn't love you and didn't want to be in your life.

8. Not every relationship is going to last until death. your parents had different ideas about what kind of relationship they had. He may have married her because she was pregnant and she threatened to have an abortion. He may have married her because you were born and he didn't want his child to not know his father. Don't judge a man when he realizes that his relationship with your mother has reached its end. Its much worse if he uses you as an excuse to not leave.

Understand this, your father can parent you from outer space. he doesnt have to live with you to be a part of your life. Whatever the circumstances of your birth, your father loves you. From Iraq to Afganistan to Tibet to Cleveland, Ohio, you are never far from his thoughts. He would move mountains and seas and in some cases, die for you. You dont have to like the relationship of your parents, however, understand that its not your relationship with your parents. Take this day to think about what your dad does and doesnt mean to you.

Monday, May 24, 2010


I keep telling myself that i shouldn't watch the news. or read the news online. or stand next to someone reading the news on their phone. unfortunately, its the nature of the business i'm in. i have to 'know' what is going on. the problem is, for the most part. i have no desire to even raise my head off the pillow. i have read so much just flat out bullshit in the past 30 days, i really thought i would throw my laptop out the window. The final slide was reading how al sharpton was going to detroit to euligize a 7 yr old girl who was killed during a police raid. Now, not 10 days before, a police officer was killed and 4 other wounded when they answered a call about someone possibly breaking into a home. Where was good ole' al then? it didn't even register on his 'alert meter'. This officer left behind a wife and 10 year old son. The reason for the ill-fated raid? A 17 yr old boy was shot on a street by a 30something who decided that the boy had 'looked' at him funny. The raid was to capture the suspect. The police did. he was upstair of the duplex, the little girl was shot in the downstair apartment. Oh, and after it was all said and done, her father hired a high-powered Geoffrey Fieger (who doesnt know a camera or court he doesnt like) to 'represent him' and find the truth. The only thing Mr. Fieger is going to find is 40% attorney's fees. Truth is relative. I'm still waiting for someone to explain the two stolen cars in the backyard that had been, by all accounts, there for some time. But of course, Mr. Feiger's clients had absolutely nothing to do with that. They walked in and out and all about the house and had no idea the cars in the backyard were stolen or better yet, a suspected murdered lived above them.

Lest I not forget Kwame Kilpatrick. The hip-hop mayor. who could fuck everyone but his wife. this guy traveled to a MLK day speech paid for by a North Carolina city to speak on King's legacy and this clown brought some woman (not his wife or his chief of staff mistress) to the event. That wouldn't have been so bad if the sponsors weren't told they were paying for her too. and that included the 'couples massage' at the resort that he tried to have the sponsors pay. oh yea, and she signed her name "carol slowski"

tomorrow kwame is looking at a possible prison sentence for probation violation. this clown only has to pay the city $1 million dollars in restitution. he's making $120 thousand as a computer salesman for a company owned by one of his supporters. and living in a mansion and his wife had a $15 thousand dollar tummy tuck, driving Escalades, buying $600 shoes. According to his attorney, he 'has' to live this lifestyle in order to convinence potential customers that he's 'on their level'.  His attorney must think i'm an idiot. really. This guy fucked around on his wife so much, i'm several states away and I knew his business (through friends and family living in detroit) It was an open secret that he was sleeping with women other than his wife, no one knew he was also sleeping with his chief of staff. now that was a suprise. mostly because she makes creulla devilla look like a vestal virgin. This is the same woman who, when pulled over by 2 detroit police officers screamed "do you know who the fuck i am? they didn't. she called the police chief on the phone and basically thought she would castrate them for doing their job. which didn't including pulling her over on her way to her mayoral booty call. fate gave the officers an upper hand. they sued the city and won $25,000.

now when the mayor and his ex-mistress start talking about how they want to 'live' and she can't find a job and support her 2 daughters, i think to myself. when you knuckleheads were jumping around hotel rooms and sexing on the city dime, you didn't give a damn about your kids or you spouses. or the city. the text messages make it quite clear, christine was a love-sick, neauseating, jumpoff who couldn't read between the lines that her position wasn't going to change. kwame who isn't the most attractive man in the world, must has abilities i dont know about, cause there is no way he'd be touching me, but i digress. what makes me sad is seeing whole neighborhoods just collapsing. a block now consist of 5 families, if that many, living on a street. teachers having to open accounts at kinkos because the school won't allow them to use the copy machine and everyone is blaming them for their child not being able to read.

i see the arrogance of those who honestly believe and uphold the greed is good, as long as you can't see me, which of course we can. many who probably would be good politicians just dont have the stomach for the job or people just wont vote them in because that's too much like right. who wants to hear that no, we aren't going to spend $5,000 dollars on mailing to say we are here for you. No, we aren't going to spend $12,000 on a trip to Portland, ME to see how to improve our communciation skills within our office staff.

i want to read the news again and not have to honestly re-read every other paragraph and say, WTF, WTF. can they really think i'm that damn stupid?

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Its been a long time....

Its really, REALLY, been a long time. I am sincerely sorry about that. offline life seems to have gotten in the way of writing. Yes, that is a bad thing for a blogger and I am really, REALLY, truly going to work on that. after i get some sleep