Follow by Email

Sunday, December 20, 2009

first post-expectations

Ah, a new place to create. This is truly going to be an adventure. If you are reading this, i'm inviting you on a journey. I know, the same #$% you've heard before right? okay perhaps, but this is going to be different. i'm going to write/comment/judge just about everything on the internet, radio (remember that?) television and so much more. I am going to talk about novels i've read. people i've met (names changed to protect the innocent,etc)

it's been a long road to get here, let me tell you. well, then again, you will figure it out after reading the blog for some time. I am a voracious reader. Call it inate, call it being stuck in front of the TV as a kid watching Sesame Street, but reading is my passion. Writing is another. However, because of issues i will probably discuss too soon for my taste, i have been unable to write like i want. yes, its purely my fault. In fact, i take full responsibility for that. I have been quite lazy because i did not want to face the fact that i 1. had something to say 2. somebody needed to hear it. so instead, i wrote in my head. After thought, and a phone call from my boss tonite, i decided that i needed to write, REALLY write.

I realized that we all, as in everybody, have to make decisions for ourselves. Not the sacrifical decisions (which i made it would appear on a daily basis) but real decisions for our AUTHENTIC selves. you know, the part of you that wakes up happy to be alive, happy to do 'good' work, not the bullshit jobs we have to pay the bills, but the CAREER that makes you wonder why you would ever consider anything else. I haven't been authentic since i was on the swim and soccer team in high school. I did them because they gave me great joy. i didn't do them to become a famous athlete. i did them because i was passionate about both swimming and soccer.

When i went to college, I chose a college that appealled to my senses. I didnt' care that i couldn't afford it and i'm still, all these years later still paying my loans back, but it 'moved' me to be there. While i love what i do know, i hate (okay, that's too strong a word) i dislike where i work at. I love my boss, i have the best boss in the world. I just dislike everyone above her. We had a change in leadership, however the "leader" just moved into the next higher position and is currently making life hell for everyone in the region. the economy's in the tank, so what is a writer to do? deal with it? take prozac? bitch to co-workers? drink? i decided to go back to remembering what made me feel 'real' and authentic. this may mean of course, i get fired from my job, (which pays not enough for the crap we put up with) get a job at McDonalds/Wendy's/KFC and write after i take a shower to get the grease off my fingers.

welcome aboard...